This week was a lot of "firsts" for my daughter. A new boy joined her classroom last week. For both, it seemed love at first sight. All the girls in the class vied for his attention but the only one he has had eyes for is my daughter. He comes from Venezuela and it seems this boy has manners that none of the other boys have in her classroom. A girl drops her books or stuff, he is there to help her out. He also holds doors open for the girls and does not tolerate boys shoving girls in the hallways. This makes him such a gentleman in all the girl's eyes.
He has been so shy around my daughter but with the help of some friends (and some boldness on both their parts), they have been spending all their free time at school together. He even switched one of his classes so he could be with her. Soon holding hands and then the first kiss followed. A movie date this weekend followed with the "will you be my girlfriend" question. I am left sitting here, shaking my head asking what the heck is going on? Doesn't it seem to be moving too fast? Is this okay to let my 14 year old daughter date?
I have already had experience with my son dating but he started when he was 16 and it did not seem to be as intense. Maybe boys just seem to give off that "aloof" look and really don't know what they are doing? Now 18, he is in his first "real" romance and they both seem very well suited for one another. I think the key with my son is that he is 18, not 14. Am I am being too lax about the fact that she is only 14?
When I was growing up, my parents were ultra strict. No makeup, no boyfriends, no sleepovers, no after school extracurricular sports, no dances and no hanging out after school. That lead me to be sneaky. I would get to school early and apply makeup and then wash it off before I would go home. I hid unacceptable clothes in my locker. I still managed to kiss boys. Everything else was pretty much unattainable but once I hit 19 and moved out to the nursing residence, I went crazy. I overdid everything to the point I am surprised I made it without any major lasting effects from some very dumb decisions on my part.
My mom and I were at the movies this weekend and I let her know what was going on with her grand daughter. Does my mom approve? Yes and no. She knows that if I say no my daughter will still do it behind my back but my mom really encouraged to keep the lines of communication open with her. I really want Jessica to feel safe to tell me anything. No matter what, I will always love her. Thinking back on all the stupid things I did, I am ever so grateful that there was no social media to capture it and share it with everyone. I think this is what I am most afraid of, that and the usual things that come with having a boyfriend (think pressures). When I asked her if she thought things were going too fast, she disagreed. She is just so happy but again (love my daughter for this) if her now boyfriend did pressure her for anything (we are talking sex) that she would be so disappointed in him since she really does like him. You go girl.
Is 14 too young to date? Maybe however I want to be the one who has an opening into her life. Doesn't mean I will say yes to every date and moment but I will hopefully be permitted to give her some guidance. We think they do not care what we think but listening to my daughter and the way she talks, gives me hope that I have given her some tools and modeled what a strong independent woman can be. That is what I really hope for her. Now it is time to get ready for the roller coaster ride of dating with my daughter and I am so glad that I am on this journey with her.
This weekend I baked some ham, cheese and onion muffins.
So good and an awesome snack to have. These would be really good served with a soup. I used a recipe from "The 250 Best Muffin Recipes" book by Ester Brody but adapted it a bit to meet our families preferences. Enjoy!
Ham, Cheese & Onion Muffins
1/4 cup butter or margarine
1/2 cup minced onions
1 minced garlic
2 cups flour
1 Tbsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
1 cup milk
1 cup diced ham
1/2 cup shredded cheddar cheese
1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C).
2. In a skillet, heat butter until melted. Add onions and garlic. Cook, stirring, for 5-7 mins until onions are translucent.
3. Ina bowl combine flour, baking powder, salt and pepper.
4. In another bowl combine milk and eggs; beat well., Add to flour mixture; mix well. Add onion and garlic, ham, cheese; stir until just moistened.
5. Spoon mixture into a greased muffin tin. Bake for 25 to 30 mins.